Dean McDermott Admits Suicidal Thoughts; Reveals He's Leaving 'True Tori'

Dean McDermott stopped by Access Hollywood Live on Wednesday where he revealed to Billy Bush and Kit Hoover that he's done with his Lifetime series with wife Tori Spelling.

"I'm not going to continue with the show," Dean said of "True Tori." "We have five more shows left… I can't do this anymore. I can't keep opening a vein, opening my soul and sharing my feelings and thoughts and demons with the world."

The 47-year-old, who viewers have watched deal with a relationship rollercoaster following his infidelity and battle with depression and substance abuse, told Billy and Kit he doesn't even tune in to the series.

Tori Spelling & Dean McDermott

PHOTOS: Tori Spelling & Dean McDermott

"I don't watch it, I can't. It's really difficult… I can't do it any more, for my soul," he said.

Here's more of what Dean had to say on from Wednesday's Access Hollywood Live:

WATCH: Dean McDermott Opens Up About His Self-Destructive Spiral

On what good has come from "True Tori": "The show has been great. I've learned a lot of things about myself, my relationship. It's not all doom and gloom. There's a lot of good in the show."

On Tori's recent hospitalization: "She works so hard… and it just caught up with her. She doesn't take the best care of herself. She always puts others before herself. [It was] pneumonia, bronchitis and sinusitis and that triggered migrainosus."

On how often they see Tori's mom Candy Spelling: "We see her about eight times a year, holidays and kids' birthdays."

(Read Candy Spelling's response to Dean's claims!)

PHOTOS: Celebrity Cheaters (Allegedly)

On whether Candy has shared any of her late husband's estate with Tori: "In my recovery, all I can be is honest and no. No. There's no financial help."

On the effect his infidelity and personal struggles has on his marriage: "The fact that I cheated on my wife, I wish never happened. I wish my alcohol and drug use hadn't gotten out of control. I still love her to death and that's why we're still together."

On how he's now coping with his past and troubled childhood: "I'm dealing with all of those things now. It's keeping me sober. It's keeping me sane, addressing my depression. I'm on the right medication. Things are looking up right now. They're good, today."

WATCH: Dean McDermott: ‘I Can’t Keep Sharing My Demons’

On whether his marriage with Tori will survive: "I believe so… I hold out a lot of hope. If you don't have hope what do you have? I love this woman, regardless of what I've done. I love her and want to be with her. I want to grow old with her… at this moment she feels the exact same way."

On his past suicidal thoughts: "I've learned a lot from this whole process. From the affair, form doing the show… I almost lost everything, everything that means anything to me. I don't want to ever do that again. I don't ever want to be in that dark place again where I wanted to take my life… I was driving around in my truck with a loaded 9 mm. I was put on a 5150 at the UCLA psych ward. [My son] Liam had a performance and I didn't want to miss that performance… I had plans that night to do it."

On where he sees himself in five years: "I see myself on a scripted show. I'm getting back to my roots, I'm getting back to acting… I went out an auditioned for a [part] on a 'CSI' and got it… [it's airing] December 14."

PHOTOS: Celebs Who Have Been In Rehab

"True Tori" airs Tuesdays at 9/8c on Lifetime.

-- Jesse Spero

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