Glam Slam: Bag Lady

What is your dream handbag? A Louis Vuitton with its signature monogram? An Hermes Birkin, maybe? And what does your dream bag say about you?

“The link between a woman’s bag and her status in society has existed since Ancient Egypt and hieroglyphics,” according to Kathryn Eisman, best selling author of ‘How to Tell a Woman by her Handbag’. “In the middle ages, a woman’s status in society was easily revealed by the level of embellishment and gems encrusted on the bag she carried. In the roaring 1920s, the mesh bag was elegant proof of a woman’s high socio-economic status.”

Eisman spent over two years researching the link between a woman and the type of bag she carries… her “Purse-onality,” if you will. In ‘How to tell a Woman by her Handbag’, Eisman came up with 45 different bag lady personas. We’ve singled out a few and what they say about their owners.

HERMES KELLY BAG LADY:
“I’m rich, I’m powerful and boy did I marry well”. This is what Kelly bag says, elegantly dangled from a manicured fist.
Pros: She’s a walking fashion icon.
Cons: She can be about as warm as a New York Winter. She shouldn’t sacrifice her soul for style.

HOLLYWOOD Bag lady: Victoria Beckham, Anna Wintour

BALENCIAGA BAG LADY:
She is the tastemaker, the heart breaker, whose fifth food group is caffeine and sixth sense is vintage shopping.
Pros: She’s a barrister of conversation, making it as light and fluffy as a really great cappuccino.
Cons: She needs a little less attitude and a lot more gratitude.

HOLLYWOOD Bag lady: Nicole Richie

QUILTED CHANEL LADY:
Chanel Bag Lady oozes class out of every double-stitched seam. Her attitude may be all blue blood, but she’s more red-blooded than she’d ever admit. She’ll fix herself a hot cup of English Breakfast Tea after she’s had some even hotter sex.
Pros: She’s always perfectly appropriate.
Cons: Sometime she’s a perfect bore. If people saw the real her, they’d actually really like her.

HOLLYWOOD Bag Lady: Claudia Schiffer

ETHICALLY CHIC BAG LADY:
Forget ostrich, croc or kidskin; this gal knows that ethics are officially in. You will find her at the local organic grocery store… pleased to have discovered that she doesn’t feel as guilty about buying chocolate if it’s labeled organic.
Pros: Thanks to her green is the new black.
Cons: Don’t just buy organic water; recycle the bottle.

HOLLYWOOD Bag lady: Rosario Dawson

DIAPER BAG LADY:
One day she was carrying documents, the next she was accessorizing with her baby’s regurgitated dinner. Her days of obsessing over minutia have finally been put to sleep even if she hasn’t for the past twelve months.
Pros: She has discovered that even at it’s ugliest, reality is more beautiful that artifice.
Cons: She shouldn’t forget how she got pregnant in the first place - breasts have a role beyond lactating.

HOLLYWOOD Bag Lady: Kate Winslet

FANNY PACK LADY:
There are only two types of women that would be caught dead wearing a fanny pack. The first is the tourist. The second, still turns to 1980s music videos for fashion inspiration and things ‘Vogue’ is just the name of a Madonna song.
Pros: Her wallet is safe, her hands unencumbered; security and freedom is hers.
Cons: She may as well be wearing a chastity belt. We all carry baggage, but who wants it so close to the groin?

HOLLYWOOD Bag Lady: Roseanne Barr, Susan Boyle

‘How to Tell a Woman by her Handbag,’ $11.99 is available at Amazon. For more info on Kathryn, head to www.kathryneisman.com.

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