Nicole Kidman Admits She Had A Hard Time After Divorce From Tom Cruise

Nicole Kidman has admitted that after her split with Tom Cruise in 2001 — after a decade of marriage — she grew very depressed.

“There were times following [the divorce] when I thought, ‘Wow, this is the loneliest, loneliest existence,’” Kidman told Australia’s Who magazine, as excerpted by the publication’s stateside sister glossy, People. “But with Tom, it was a fantastic decade. I wish all of the people that have been involved in my life well, because it’s very important to me to be in a place of forgiveness and love.”

Although the two finalized their divorce in 2001, Nicole said she is thankful for her marriage to Tom because it gave her two kids.

“I married [Tom] really fast and really young, but I don’t regret that because it got me Bella and Connor, and I did have a fantastic marriage for a long period. Then when it didn’t work out, I had to really dig deep and find my way through depression, but I have no regrets about all of it. It was all a part of growing up,” she said, according to Who.

In 2006, Nicole married country star Keith Urban and the two are parents to Sunday Rose, 4, and Faith, who turns 2 in December.

“I’m amazed that I have been a mother for so much of my life now. It’s odd, but because of them I don’t feel 45,” she noted.

The actress, who had Faith through a surrogate, also said she can relate to other women who have trouble getting pregnant.

“I had tried and failed and failed,” she said. “Every woman who has been through all those ups and downs knows the depression that comes with it. So the way it just happened with Sunday was like, ‘What?’ The percentages were so low. It is the miracle in my life.”

In the interview, Nicole also denied reports she spoke to Katie Holmes, who recently split with Tom.

“I never spoke to her,” Nicole said. “I wish all of them well, but I was not involved in any of that.”