ROLL CALL: Robert Pattinson Turns Down Simon Cowell’s Music Offer

Your Daily Dispatch of Celebrity Shenanigans

RPattz Says No To Cowell: Robert Pattinson and Simon Cowell won’t be making music together. According to Britain’s Press Association, “The Twilight Saga” star, who plays guitar and piano, said he wouldn’t sign a deal with Simon’s label because he thinks his mucis is “very depressing” and that he wouldn’t be popular enough to fit in amongst more mainstream pop acts. The Sun, via the Press Association, reported that Simon wants the actor for his record label, Syco. This wasn’t a total dis though — RPattz added that, “I love Simon, I think he is a great personality and I think his shows are entertaining.” We think his “very depressing” music is exactly what Twi-hards are thirsting for.

RIP Octopus Paul, January 2008 – October 2010: The world’s first octopus oracle, Paul, bought the underwater farm last night. Paul, who had a perfect record predicting World Cup games including Spain’s final win, by grabbing the flag of the winning team, passed away overnight. Roll Call is going to out celebrate Paul’s life with a big sushi dinner… who’s with us? This just in… according to Discovery News, the German aquarium where Paul lived, is planning on replacing him with another Octopus – who will also be named Paul!? We’re Team Paul The First, forever!

Janet Not Getting Hitched!: Janet Jackson squashed engagement rumors on Monday night when Access Hollywood caught up with her at the New York premiere of “For Colored Girls.” “No, no, I’m not engaged,” Janet told Access. Reports swirled that the singer/actress was engaged to billionaire businessman Wissam Al Mana.

Today In “No.”: Dear James Franco and Julianne Moore, we’d like to send a big “No” to both of you! No to James, for his odd porn ‘stache that he sported last night the 14th annual Hollywood Awards Gala. Also, No to Julianne also, for her dress at the British premiere of “The Kids Are All Right” — it made our eyes hurt tying to figure out if it was an optical illusion, a Photoshop shenanigan or just a plain ol’ fashion flub!

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