FROM THE NEWS DESK: Smith, Clooney & An Onion (March 27)

By McKay Heim and George Larrimore

CHECK?S IN THE MAIL: On the day when Daniel?s inquest was supposed to begin, other reports out of the Bahamas are saying that Anna Nicole Smith?s final funeral bills remain unpaid. She was buried March 8th and services that were provided for her funeral have not been paid by her estate. For the lavish funeral service at Mount Horeb Baptist Church limos, a decoy hearse, and escorts were provided for the widely televised event. According to Pedro Ferguson at East Sunrise Mortuary, Richard Milstein was stated as the responsible party for the bills. When the funeral home contacted him about paying, they were told he ?was sick and would be back in a couple of days.? We tried calling Milstein for a statement about the payments and he did not return our call.

PREVIEW: Can?t wait for George Clooney, Brad Pitt and Matt Damon to return to the big screen in Ocean?s Thirteen? In just two days, you will be able to catch the full Ocean?s Thirteen trailer on the official site. It will be released online this Thursday, March 29. The international premiere will be at the 60th Cannes Film Festival in May and the movie will hit theaters on June 8.

FAUX NEWS: The award winning weekly satire newspaper, The Onion, today launched The Onion News Network (ONN), a 24-hour fake news network. The ONN will feature clips from their originally produced content on the satirical new network. They will include everything from investigative news reporting to their Sunday morning show, In the Know. The newscasts will be “faster, harder, scarier and all-knowing.” The network currently offers channels in 171 languages and has unbiased in-the-field reporters stationed in every country in the world. Inside the U.S., the network can be viewed in 92.2 million households and more than 500,000 prison cells. Free podcasts on iTunes will feature clips from the newscast. The Onion newspaper features satirical articles reporting on international, national, and local news as well as an entertainment newspaper.

CATCH AND RELEASE: In a very interesting release out of Washington, DC we find out that for $250 you can join actor Alec Baldwin musician Moby, actresses Marilu Henner and Lisa Edelstein at ?The Art of Compassion? gala in Washington, D.C. Alec will serve as Master of Ceremonies to benefit the Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine on April 14. Three awards will be presented: Henry J. Heimlich Award for Innovative Medicine, the Benjamin Spock Award for Compassion in Medicine, and the Art of Compassion Award, which recognizes extraordinary commitment to the principle of compassion in research and medicine. It will include a star-studded VIP reception, general reception, and silent auction, followed by a gourmet vegan dinner designed by some of the country?s most celebrated chefs.

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