Chrissy Teigen is reflecting on the heartbreaking experience of losing her baby, Jack.
On Thursday, she underwent surgery for endometriosis, writing on her Instagram story, “Please endo this pain.” The surgery occurred on the same week that son Jack was scheduled to be born.
In September, Chrissy shared the news of the devastating loss on Instagram, writing, “To our Jack – I’m so sorry that the first few moments of your life were met with so many complications, that we couldn’t give you the home you needed to survive. We will always love you.”
Earlier this week, Chrissy opened up about her emotions on the week he would have been born, writing, “My little Jack would have been born this week so I’m a bit off. I truly feel kicks in my belly, but it’s not phantom. I have surgery for endometriosis tomorrow…but the period feeling this month is exactly like baby kicks. Sigh.”
Chrissy made it home safely after the surgery, sharing a series of Instagram stories from her bed showing off the heart-covered bandages over her abdomen. She also shared some photos from the music video shoot for John Legend’s “Wild,” where the couple revealed that they were expecting baby Jack back in August.
“I was 10 weeks along and out of my mind happy. I knew the video would take a bit to get together so thought it would be cute to share our news with the world through the ol classic hand on belly trick at the end. I could have never imagined what would happen over the next 10 weeks…not sure I’ll ever be able to watch that video again without sobbing but I hope he feels my tears and knows we miss him so,” she wrote.
“He would have been here any day now – if he were like Luna and Miles, I’d probably be holding him as we speak,” Chrissy continued. “I am so full of regret that I didn’t look at his face when he was born. I was so scared of seeing him in my nightmares that I forgot about seeing him in my dreams. I hurt every day from that remorse.”
“This month is a rough reminder and to be honest, I thought the worst was over but I guess life and emotions aren’t on any sort of schedule,” she added. “And I love you jack. I miss you so so much.”