Kaitlyn Bristowe is opening up about her famous “Bachelorette” breakup from her ex-fiance, Shawn Booth.
On Wednesday’s episode of the Scrubbing In with Becca Tilley and Tanya Rad podcast, Kaitlyn, 35, said that she felt “miserable” following her November 2018 breakup with Shawn, 33.
The duo said in a statement at the time, “Even though we are parting as a couple, we’re very much committed to remaining friends and we will continue to support each other.”
But years later, Kaitlyn says she didn’t realize how unhappy she was in her relationship at the time.
“I pushed away a lot of friendships. I didn’t realize how miserable I was or how out of touch I was with myself and my confidence until — and I’m not trying to, obviously, blame Shawn … but I felt a lot of shame from the show. I felt a lot of insecurities. I didn’t feel safe in the relationship. I was constantly working on myself, constantly going to therapy to not feel those things,” she shared.
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“I’m the kind of person, I don’t think with logic. If he’s going to be a certain way — I’m going to meet him in his unhealthy way of thinking. He was the same thing with me and that obviously doesn’t work,” said Kaitlyn.
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“It’s three and a half years of feeling shame and like I don’t deserve love from him. And I knew that wasn’t right, [but] that’s constantly what I was feeling for three and a half years,” Kaitlyn shared.
“I think once you rid yourself of that kind of energy, it was crazy how many things fell into place once that energy was gone,” she added.
And Kaitlyn is certainly happy and in love now. She ended up meeting Jason Tartick, also of “Bachelorette” fame, and the two have been going strong since 2019.
Shawn and Kaitlyn still both live in Nashville, but she says they’ve never run in to each other and she thinks even if they did, she’s not sure that they would see eye to eye on anything.
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“I play this scenario in my head more than I should because first of all, I think — and again I’m not trying to speak for him and I don’t know — but I truly think he just will never understand me or respect certain decisions and I think he’s just gonna hold onto anger with me,” she shared. “That’s how I feel, so I would be nervous,” she said of seeing Shawn again.
“I would play nice and even though he hurt me so terribly and things I’ve never even talked about, I hold anger too, but I know if I saw him I wouldn’t be able to be like ‘Meh,’ that’s just not me.”
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But Kaitlyn seems happy and content with her relationship with Jason and the two are happy parents to several pups. Jason reflected on how their road to love happened in a recent Instagram post.
“If neither of us stepped into that limo, Bachelor mansion bound…this wouldn’t have happened. Thankful.”
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